Visitors barely come to gallery today. Finally, here is one, i make a big smiling face, he smiles me back, i keep smiling. I am the face of this gallery, i remember what directors told me, and I am doing my best. SMILE, Always SMILE. ah...i feel the contraction of my muscle on the face. I smiled too much, i guess, my muscle is not collaborating with me.
Ok, he is gone, good, I am alone here again, no need to pretend i am a happy receptionist, i can just be myself.
So, I keep sitting here like a stone, no eating, no drinking, no bathroom, and talking, no moving.
Thorsten called me twice in an hour, asking whether i am ok, whether i need to take a walk outside.
I said, No, Thanks. I like to sit here like a stone.
You amazed me today, Thorsten said to me at the end of the day.
We both laughed.
Peace and prosperity, that two words, with Thorsten's cheering voice, he always talks to me with one hand up before he leave for the gallery.
I answered him with a big frozen smile.
SMILE, YES, I lOVE SMILING.
Underneath, It just feel like died, died, so died.
Another good friend just got fired recently, She is trying hard to find a new job now, thinking of whether she should still stays in NY. I hate this feeling that life is in other's hand, with no control over.
I am telling her, this is a good news for you, you were not happy at work anyways.
She smiled on the phone, that sentense surely comforted her, but we both know that comforting wouldn't last long.
I remembered I once went to a lecture, by a famous Chinese artist, Cai Guoqiang (the gun powder and firework guy), in the end of interview, a person asked him,
Why you like to live in New York?
Because New York makes anyone famous back to normal. He answered, with a big satisfied proud smile, lifting his small head, looking at the audiances, those glittering eyes look up to him with full of admiring.
I GOSHED at the back in my little corner, surely, NY is for someone famous just like him, not for struggling poor individule like me.
Anyways, days are passing by, people are passing by and stories are passing by. I am still sitting in front of the gallery, smiling to strangers, hiding at the front desk, writing those unknow little stories.
SMILE, YES, I lOVE SMILING.
Underneath, It just feel like died, died, so died.
Another good friend just got fired recently, She is trying hard to find a new job now, thinking of whether she should still stays in NY. I hate this feeling that life is in other's hand, with no control over.
I am telling her, this is a good news for you, you were not happy at work anyways.
She smiled on the phone, that sentense surely comforted her, but we both know that comforting wouldn't last long.
I remembered I once went to a lecture, by a famous Chinese artist, Cai Guoqiang (the gun powder and firework guy), in the end of interview, a person asked him,
Why you like to live in New York?
Because New York makes anyone famous back to normal. He answered, with a big satisfied proud smile, lifting his small head, looking at the audiances, those glittering eyes look up to him with full of admiring.
I GOSHED at the back in my little corner, surely, NY is for someone famous just like him, not for struggling poor individule like me.
Anyways, days are passing by, people are passing by and stories are passing by. I am still sitting in front of the gallery, smiling to strangers, hiding at the front desk, writing those unknow little stories.
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